The top 10 shitty things lawyers have to contend with FIs

1. Haven't I faxed you the Contract, Transfer and Title 3 times already? CBA
   
2. Look, we sent you a copy of the Transfer , yet the name of the Mortgagor is wrong, you need to redo the Mortgage documents. Even worse the ANZ not once but twice lost a stamped Transfer
   
3. For the sixth time, we need a letter confirming the amount of the original loan and the payout figure. Our client urgently needs this to get a deposit release Westpac
   
4. How do I navigate through this phone system - I just want to book in a settlement or change the time
   
5. Quote "We have lost or misplaced the bank cheques; did our settlement clerk take the cheque(s) by mistake?" NAB
   
6. We cant find the title. Which bank, (our firm alone deals with banks that lose titles on average 3 to 4 times a year)
   
7. What do you mean I cant email you? I have a 50 page document I need to send you. This is the year 2010. Westpac: phone, fax or post.
   
8. I have been put on hold for 53 minutes - HSBC
   
9. How come you cant give a payout figure? Settlement is tomorrow and the other side needs three days notice. And hey, how come I cant ever speak to the same person twice?
   
10. What's the loan status? ANZ - two million telephone inquiries a year relating to the status of loan applications
    

11 What do you mean the title is still in the vendors name? I purchased this ppty 9 months ago - CBA